People. People scare me, I hate the way the are judging me on everything, the way my hair is, my make up, my clothes, my language, my everything. Deep down I think I know that nobody is actually paying any attention and it is all in my mind but neither the less people still scare me. So walking into my first class, English, sitting down and gazing at the people surrounding me, about 10 all together, scared me half to death. I knew nobody, not even the teacher, how would I act, would they like me, would I like them, what if I failed the class, what if everyone laughed at me. Oh my goodness, the panic set in, I felt like the whole world was staring at me waiting for me to share my name and my hobbies, an ice breaker the teacher called it, torture in the cruellest form I thought.
"Charlie and  I have two kids", I mumbled and then I hung my head in a pathetic desperation for everyone to stop looking at me. 10 minutes later and I  was in complete panic mode. I did not want to be in that room, no way could I do this, no way could I spend 36 weeks in a classroom with these people, these strangers that did not know anything about me, they would hate me I was sure of it. The teacher, Amy, must have seen how much I was freaking out and lead me out of the room, they say the first impression you make sticks, well that's great the first impression I gave was me crying , snot dripping down my face, as fist impressions go I am sure it was the worst one ever, now ever the teacher would think I was a joke!!

Actually I was wrong about a lot of things I spent the rest of that lesson sitting at the back of the room, taking notes and speaking to nobody, still scared of what could happen and looking back its ridiculous, seriously what on earth could have happened?  The thing is I stuck at it and now 2 months on I speak out in class, I answer questions, I am not afraid...well of the people in my class because lets face it there is still a whole world of people out there that still frighten me and I am not sure I can ever get over the overall fear of people but starting with a class room of people is a good place to start.

Love Charliy.